Confession

I have a confession to make, yall. It's been rolling around my head for a while, and I think it's time to talk about it because it's epically awesome in a slimy kind of way, the kind of shit you'd read about in shitty Young Adult novels or something, or what you'd see on the CW with snotty bitch-ass teens who have no responsibilities to keep them occupied and talk about sex and drugs all day.

So I said how I used to see MR R around, yes? That's true. And we DID run in diff circles so I never talked to him. But our circles happened to coincide a bit. Some years ago I made a friend with a total asshole of a guy who is actually pretty cute and nice once you get past the asshole bit. He became BFFs with Mr R also some years ago when they dormed and drugged together (those days are loooong past, thank you very much).

Me and cute asshole have been friends for like 7 years now, taking classes together, fighting, shooting each other the occasional email where I gave him advice about his foreign girlfriend. He's in training in the army now, because he's a bad-ass asshole who spits death in the face. So he comes home for a while every summer and hits me up, as he did last year, as he did this year.
We went out drinking, but before we went out, we stopped by Mr R's flat. (Now this was before the fireworks and the attempted BJ and the near-rape by Techno-dude.)
I thought Mr R was a weird quiet man and when we all hit the town together, I kept wanting to ditch him so me and cute asshole could be together "and actually have fun."
When we were alone for a while, cute asshole and me were talking about his girl friend, and how he was on the verge of breaking up with her. I encouraged him, as I didn't really care and she seemed like a total bitch.
We kept drinking, and drinking, and later MR R, me and cute asshole were eating at some dive bar and under the table, cute asshole was stroking my leg the entire time, up and down, up and down, but it was weird because I've always known him as my asshole friend and anyway, I worried about the chill in the air and how you know your leg hair starts growing whenever you get goosebumps? Yeah.
So for the next two days cute asshole stopped by my place and I kissed him lightly on the lips, but nothing more. I SWEAR! JESUS--YOU GUYS THINK THE WORST OF ME!
So he goes back down south to do more training, writing me periodically about how he broke up with his GF and likes the naughty lacy panties photo I shot for him. (I also took cleavage pics on his I-phone too)
Then me and Mr R started hanging out and you know about all that.

Just to reiterate, I kinda sorta helped break-up a faltering relationship to sorta begin dating my old asshole friend, whose best friend began hooking up with me.
Gasp!
Dismay!
Now me and cute asshole never had any sort of agreement. We saw each other twice under the pretense of "kinda dates", but that was all. The only real repercussion this could have is the photographic evidence, which I told Mr R about a long time ago under the guise that I had a crush on him even then and told cute asshole to send those photos Mr R's way. No, the only REAL repercussion this could possibly have is with Mr R's relationship with cute asshole. Mr R is a highly educated gentleman, very shy and reserved, and this friendship he has with cute asshole may be one of the only people he can truly call a best friend. (Besides me. Although you don't generally fuck your best friends, considering I treat him like another guy and we laugh and do dumb boy shit together all the time, I definitely consider us besties.)
I don't want to strain their relationship. I mean, cute asshole stopped writing me, but hasn't stopped contact with Mr R, and hopefully never will.

Mr R is getting very serious about me, yall; he's talking about marriage and the future and really, I saw him initially as maybe a good one night fuck or something along those lines. I just wanted to bone him and he had to start bringing in all these emotions and humanity to it. It's like you switch on the radio to Love Games/ Disco-Stick and it changes suddenly to something by Rachmaninoff. Or Chopin--because Mr R is a melancholy sort.

Oh and PS: cute asshole's girlfriend returned here to go to university and through Mr R I'm kinda friends with her now. Mad Mad world.